Deportation Weekly - Paris Hilton

With illegal immigration constantly in the news, it got me thinking. Why should illegal immigrants be the only ones facing possible deportation? America is full of useless human beings, so why not deport some of them? I suppose the correct term would be exile, but that term sounds so dated. I have a long list of people I would love to see escorted across the border, I'm sure Canada would be more than happy to except each one of these wonderful people. I will try and post one every Sunday.

So without further delay, the first person I nominate for permanent relocation -- Paris Hilton.

I distinctly remember Paris stating she found Jesus and now realizes her purpose in this life is to help others. From what I've heard, she has already found her way back to the bars she loves so much and rekindled her love affair with alcohol. After doing several searches, I've found one occurrence of Paris doing something remotely good for the world. Wow, she signed a tank top for a good cause... When she stated she planned on making the world a better place, I figured she may volunteer at a soup kitchen, old folks home, animal shelter... O.K. in actuality, I didn't expect any of that. In all honesty, the fact she even signed a shirt pushes her far beyond my expectations.

Because of this, and the fact she is a self centered, egotistical, no talent, unattractive, wanna-be porn star. I feel she is a perfect first candidate for deportation.

Before signing off, I would like to apologize to any Canadians who may read this. I know you probably don't want the likes of her in your semi-lovely country, unfortunately we can't send her to Mexico, because I fear the culture shock may kill her. I dislike her greatly, but don't feel she is worthy of death, at least not yet.