Mirapex: Odd Side Effects

I have always been fascinated by prescription drugs and their side effects. When I first saw the commercials for Alli, a weight loss pill that may cause anal leakage, I thought I would never find anything funnier. The exact term they used was, "oily spotting," and by my thought process insinuates anal leakage. Who would want a leaking ass in exchange for a few less pounds. You may look better, but no man wants a woman with skid marks in her underpants.

Than I saw a commercial for Mirapex, and everything changed. I found this in their faq regarding possible side effects:

There have been reports of patients taking certain medications to treat Parkinson’s disease or RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome), including MIRAPEX, that have reported problems with gambling, compulsive eating, and increased sex drive. It is not possible to reliably estimate how often these behaviors occur to determine which factors may contribute to them. If you or your family members notice that you are developing unusual behaviors, talk to your doctor.

This is exactly what I want in a medication designed to keep my legs still while I sleep. It allows patients to get a good nights sleep before blowing their life savings at the craps table, may cause weight gain, or transform you into a nymphomaniac. The later may not be so bad depending on your take of sex and how often you are able to get it.

"I swear hon, the Mirapex made me do it. I was just so damn horny."

Word for the Weekend 7/20

xenophobia
\ZEN-uh-FOE-bee-uh\

noun:
Definition: Fear or hatred of strangers, people from other countries, or of anything that is strange or foreign

"Time and again we see leaders and members of religions incite aggression, fanaticism, hate, and xenophobia - even inspire and legitimate violent and bloody conflicts."
Hans Kung

Possible template change.

I'm considering switching to a 3-column template for this blog. So, if in the next few days you observe some odd colors, strange lay outs, or any number of possible problems. Please bear with me. I'm still getting used to this blogging thing and will fix what ever I fuck up as soon as I figure out how.

Clumsy Cashier and the Olives

While I was visiting home today, my grandma asked me to run to the supermarket to get olives. The cashier was rather entertaining. When I first got to the register, she was collecting the cash from her customer. When she went to close the drawer, she didn't push it in hard enough or something and it sprang back out at her. The look on her face was priceless. She actually looked a little scared.

Than when she rang up my grandma's olives, she accidentally placed them in between two bags, rather than putting them in one bag. When she noticed her mistake she looked at me and said, "Hehe, that could have been messy." Than she takes my money, opens her drawer, and stares blankly at me. After about 10 seconds of an awful stare down, she snaps back to this world and tells me my total, looks at the money, and than proceeds (finally) to count out my change.

I found her rather interesting.

Chain Mail

Why I hate chain mail.

Scroll down...

(scroll down 10 minutes before reaching the next line of text.)

Think of the name of a member of the opposite sex you REALLY like...

(scroll down 10 minutes before reaching the next line of text.)

Now count to ten...

(scroll down 10 minutes before reaching the next line of text.)

Turn around ten times while reciting an incantation of your choice...

(scroll down 10 minutes before reaching the next line of text.)

Now send this blog entry to ten of your closest friends (within 10 minutes of course) and the person who's name you thought of will ask you out on a date!!!!!!!!

Of course your other option is to simply ask the person you thought of out on a date. You will be surprised how much better that works, as opposed to following the directions of a retarded chain letter. Plus, you will have absolutely no reason to forward anymore to me.

I honestly would have thought this internet fad would have died down by now. Unfortunately it only mutated to encompass not only email; but facebook, myspace, and any other social networking site you can possibly imagine.

Thankfully, most people in my contact list have grown beyond the chain letter, however, there are still a handful which feel it is emanate I receive every single one ever created... ever.

And finally, why is the number "10" so important in these things?

Horrible Parking

Driving isn't complicated, yet there are some things people do, which may make it more difficult than it needs to be.

1. Drinking before driving.
2. Taking medication before driving. Yes your vehicle falls under the heavy machinery warning label.
3. Driving a vehicle which is to large for your peanut brain.

Before I continue, let me clarify something, I have nothing against gigantic vehicles. However, I do have a major problem with people who choose to drive them, while lacking the necessary brain power to handle them properly. Just because your form of transportation is larger than mine, does not mean you get two premium parking spaces. If you do feel the need to take up more than one space, park in the back of the fucking lot!

Secondly, if you squeeze your over sized gas guzzler into a spot and notice the small, eco-friendly cars next to you don't have enough clearance to open their doors, move your damn truck. Despite what Back to the Future fans may believe, the Delorean never caught on. Most cars in today's world require more than 12" in order to open them fully (at least in America.)

I, and others, will not hesitate to slam our car doors into the side of your vehicle if we have to inhale deeply before squeezing into our cars. Some people shouldn't drive anything larger than a go-kart, yet they insist on sitting behind the wheel of an Expedition. I hate every last one of you.

Also, before anyone comments on how I'm not qualified to bitch about this. I used to drive a Ford F-150, extended cab, and when I felt I couldn't fit comfortably into a space, I chose a different one. This is the exact reason I fail to understand why others can't do the same.

Granted, it isn't only drivers of big vehicles who can't park correctly. There are assholes in small cars who can't seem to fit their Neon into a spot twice their cars size. For these people, there is no excuse, each and every one of them should have vulgarities spray painted on the side of their cars.

The author of this blog does not condone vandalism, however, if an entire can of spray paint accidentally goes off in your hand... oops.

Now that I got that out of my system. While looking for a picture to add to this post, I came across I Park Like An Idiot.com. They sell "I park like an idiot" bumper stickers, which I assume your supposed to stick to cars you see horribly parked. Their disclaimer says to not stick them on other cars like the pictures on their site, yet the smallest pack you can buy is a twenty pack. Some people deserve to have these things plastered to the back of their car. I urge each and every one of you to follow suit. If you don't feel like buying them, simply write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the moron's car.

A Call for Angry Letters

I'm sure at this point, you have heard of the young man (Wilson) who is in jail because he received oral sex from a fellow teenager (2 year age difference.) Unfortunately, consensual oral sex between teens was illegal at the time, and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Since his conviction, Georgia has changed that law, and what he did is no longer illegal.

On top of all this, the DA has released the sex tape of the two. Please note, this was consensual sex between a 15 and 17 year. Also, under Georgia law, if he had vaginal sex with her, Wilson would not be in jail today. On top of the fact this young man is in jail and will be classified as a sex offender for the rest of his life (if something isn't done,) the DA is now releasing the child porn to certain individuals. I say child porn since he was convicted for aggravated child molestation.

If you would like to let the DA to hear what you have to say in regards to every aspect of this despicable case, I will include his contact info.

For more on this story, click here.

To contact David McDade DA, go here.
Contact:
David McDade, Esquire
District Attorney, Douglas Judicial District
8700 Hospital Drive
Main Floor, Douglas County Courthouse
Douglasville, Georgia 30134
Phone: 770.920.7292
Fax: 770.920.7123

When I get home from work, I will post a more light hearted and humorous update. I'm just highly annoyed at this whole situation. It seems like horrible DA's are becoming a standard at this point.

A Dissatisfied Customer.

I told this story to the hostess the other day at work, and since she seemed to really like it, I figure I should share it with all of you. This took place a couple years ago, while working at Walgreen's. It was several weeks after Hurricane Katrina and our store was constantly crowded. The population of the town had nearly doubled, due to refugee's from New Orleans. The pharmacy was so overrun, it was taking at least two days to fill people's prescriptions. And thus our story begins.

I was working the front register at the time, while the cashier was taking a break. Taking over everyone else's position while they were on break was about 60% of my job... Another part of my job was to open the island register when the front cashier's line grew to long. When I was at the front register, like at the moment, there usually wasn't anyone to help ring up customers besides cosmetics.

While working the front register, with about 6 customers in line, the phone rings.
I answer...

"Thank you for calling Walgreen's, what can I help you with today?"

A females voice responds, "Hi, I'm very angry right now."

"What's the matter ma'am?"

"I put my prescription in two day's ago and it still isn't ready."

I kindly inform her, "O.k., well I can transfer your call to pharmacy if you like."

"No, that's alright, I just wanted to let someone know how angry I am right now. This is ridiculous, I have never had to wait two days for a prescription!"

I retort, "Well, I am more than happy to transfer you to pharmacy, if you like."

"No, I don't want to talk to them, I have already talked to them and they told me there is nothing they can do. They said they will get to it when they can."

"Well would you like to speak to a manger?"

"No, I don't want to talk to a manager, I just want to let someone know how angry I am and I certainly will not ever shop there again."

Meanwhile the customer I'm checking out is ready to pay.

"Your total is $7.52."

"What, my total...," the voice on the phone inquires.

"Sorry, I was talking to the lady who's groceries I just rang up."

"Look ma'am," I direct to the lady on the phone, "what would you like me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything, I just want to let y'all know how frustrated I am."

At this point I've had enough,
"I don't care, I make $6.00 an hour, but if you want me to transfer you to someone who may care, I will do that. Now if you don't want to talk to either of your two options, I am going to hang up. I am the cashier and the line is growing longer every second I'm on the phone with you!"

"You are very rude, whats your name, I think I will report you."

I give her my name and employee number and ask, "Would you like me to transfer you to the manager now?"

"No, I will do it later."

"Alright, goodbye."
Click

Some of the customers were smiling and a few were actually laughing by the time I hung up the phone. I apologized to them for the wait. At one point I got so involved with telling this woman how I didn't give a shit, I forgot about what else I was doing.

When the cashier came back to her position, I informed a manger they may get a phone call about me. I explained the situation and he told me not to worry about it. I don't think she ever called. However, this is one of the reasons I will probably never work in customer service ever again, I can only put up with so much crap before I eventually lose it. I honestly don't think I would be able to keep a customer service job for long if I worked one now, I enjoy telling shitty customers off too much.

Deportation Weekly - Paris Hilton

With illegal immigration constantly in the news, it got me thinking. Why should illegal immigrants be the only ones facing possible deportation? America is full of useless human beings, so why not deport some of them? I suppose the correct term would be exile, but that term sounds so dated. I have a long list of people I would love to see escorted across the border, I'm sure Canada would be more than happy to except each one of these wonderful people. I will try and post one every Sunday.

So without further delay, the first person I nominate for permanent relocation -- Paris Hilton.

I distinctly remember Paris stating she found Jesus and now realizes her purpose in this life is to help others. From what I've heard, she has already found her way back to the bars she loves so much and rekindled her love affair with alcohol. After doing several searches, I've found one occurrence of Paris doing something remotely good for the world. Wow, she signed a tank top for a good cause... When she stated she planned on making the world a better place, I figured she may volunteer at a soup kitchen, old folks home, animal shelter... O.K. in actuality, I didn't expect any of that. In all honesty, the fact she even signed a shirt pushes her far beyond my expectations.

Because of this, and the fact she is a self centered, egotistical, no talent, unattractive, wanna-be porn star. I feel she is a perfect first candidate for deportation.

Before signing off, I would like to apologize to any Canadians who may read this. I know you probably don't want the likes of her in your semi-lovely country, unfortunately we can't send her to Mexico, because I fear the culture shock may kill her. I dislike her greatly, but don't feel she is worthy of death, at least not yet.

Internet Slang

I LUV DA INTERNET AND AL BUT I HAEV A MAJOR PROBLAM WIT INTERNET TOK!!1!!111 OMG WTF TENS R ACTUALY USNG INTARN3T LANGUAEG WHIEL AT SKOOL!!!!!!!! OMG LOL ITS RATHAR PATHETIC!1!11 I NEVER UND3RS2D TEH POINT OF WRITNG LIEK THIS IT DOESNT ACTUALY SAEV TIEM WHAN TYPNG ON A KEY BOARD!1!1! OMG GRANTED IF UR WRITNG A T3XT MESAEG IT CUD COME IN HANDY.!1!1!1!1!11!1!11 WTF LOL I WISH I CUD ABOLISH THES CRAP!!111! LOL BUT KNOW IT LOKS LIEK ITS HERA 2 STAY!!!!! OMG

Translation:

I love the internet and all, but I have a major problem with internet talk. Teens are actually using internet language while at school. It's rather pathetic. I never understood the point of writing like this, it doesn't actually save time when typing on a key board. Granted if your writing a text message, it could come in handy... I wish I could abolish this crap. But no, it looks like it's here to stay.

If you would like to write like a twelve year old, check out this site. Just type in what you want to say and it will translate it for you.

Censorship and Wal-Mart

There are many things I dislike about Wal-Mart. Here is a brief list:

1. The long lines.
2. Out of 40 registers, only 10 are ever open at one time.
3. The general stupidity of many Wal-Mart employee's
4. Censorship of their music CD's.
   

Why does Wal-Mart feel the need to edit an artists work before making it available to their customers? If they don't agree with the content, than they shouldn't sell it in their stores! When I was a teenager I bought the Spider-Man soundtrack, a cd which was not deemed explicit by the RIAA. The most profane word found in the entire cd is "shit," which Wal-Mart found the need to edit out before selling it to me. I can't stress enough, how ripped off I felt. If I wanted the radio version of songs, I would have made a fucking mixed tape while listening to the radio.

I hate censorship... If you don't like a few foul words in a song, don't buy the cd. There are many people who are capable of realizing there are worse things in the world than a few naughty words.

Here is the best form of censorship, don't buy what you don't want, and on top of that, monitor what the hell your children are listening to. If there weren't so many shitty parents, there wouldn't be a need for censorship. Monitor what your children are doing, rather than allowing a corporation like Wal-Mart to do it for you. If people weren't buying the crap, Wal-Mart would stop butchering music. Unfortunately people are idiots, hence, Wal-Mart feels obliged to watch out for everyone's moral integrity.

Word for the Weekend 7/13

Impregnable
\im-PREG-nuh-buhl\
adjective:

1. Not capable of being stormed or taken by assault; unconquerable; as, an impregnable fortress.
2. Difficult or impossible to overcome or refute successfully; beyond question or criticism; as, an impregnable argument.

"You think, eventually, that nothing can disturb you and that your nerves are impregnable. Yet, looking down at that familiar face, I realized that death is something to which we never become calloused." - Eliot Ness

Arghhh!

In the middle of making a detailed post, which I spent an hour on, Firefox decided it would rather shut down than publish the fucking post. On top of that, it seems to have persuaded Blogger to go along with it's plan to piss me the fuck off. Apparently Blogger decided it was a good idea to stop auto-saving in the middle of the post.

I fucking hate technology. They gives us all kinds of cool gadgets to play with, yet none of it can work properly for longer than a nanosecond.

Ahhhhh.

I will finish the post as soon as I stop wanting to throw my lap top down a flight of stairs.

Edit: Well it posted itself underneath this one, I suppose because I began it before this one... I don't know anymore.