Help Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed

According to Powell's Books,

Liberals Under My Bed is a fun way for parents to teach children conservatism. Readers follow Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when bureaucratic busybodies demand the brothers pay outrageous taxes, remove their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with their lemonade, they experience firsthand the dangers of liberalism.

This got me thinking of other great ideas for children's books.

1. Help Mom! Al Sharpton is under my bed.
Lou and Tommy start a lemonade stand only to have Al Sharpton stage a protest out front due to their lack of minority employee's.

2. Help Mom! Lindsay Lohan is under my bed.
Lou and Tommy start a lemonade stand only to have it destroyed by a drunk and swerving coke whore.

3. Help Mom! There are Scientologists under my bed.
Lou and Tommy start a lemonade stand only to have it over run by Xenu, the alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy."

4. Help Mom! There are Fundamentalist Christians under my bed.
Lou and Tommy start a lemonade stand only to have it and themselves condemned to hell by an ironically bitter preacher, all because they don't donate enough money to the local church.

Maybe these aren't million dollar book ideas, but shouldn't we warn children early of all these dangers in the world?